the throwbar

Oh how she grows and changes at every turn, how her limbs and spine lengthen or shrink depending on her conditions, and how we love, or try to love, her inability to rest, that great instigator of drama, and trauma, and pain and tears, which then rise from her in great lunatic waves of laughter and […]

on exoskeletons

Because I find a blue embroidery tulle wedding dress at the thrift store and can’t tell whether it is hideous or magnificent, and because it fits me so lovingly, and because, more than any of it, I suppose, I am just the right amount of me, I end up at a dinner party hosted by the […]

Le Désespéré

so i’m at an art exhibit with yet another man and we agree to walk along separate walls, because i don’t want his thoughts interrupting mine, and he’s standing across the room from me when i turn and realize he has the exact same build as the photojournalist, even the back of his head looks like his, […]

hidden

He got mad at her last night and called her a liar and she felt it a little unfair, given the black lights with which she filled his bedroom for his homecoming. Given the masquerade mask and lingerie she donned, not to mention the knee socks with cute little bows, the stilettos. Although he took his […]

girlfriend trap

  It has been so long and she has come so far, though she suspects some of what she has done is regressed, or perhaps just circled round and forgotten the original landscape. There was the night he again asked her to be his girlfriend; she’d just performed her staccato’d body tremble trick for him, on his behalf, […]

at some point, your life will just stop

These days, I spend more and more time with the entrepreneur. Despite it not always going well between us, he has nonetheless granted generous asylum to certain aspects of me —aspects that are paramount to a heightened existence — and in so doing, forged a previously unknown trust. One year down and I now know that I […]

delayed

I’m not entirely sure what to call this one. The one that stays. That one that gets real with me, manages me, takes care of me. The one that creates a huge, safe playground for me to … well, fuck, for me to just to be me, really. I’ve had a lot of things, but I’ve […]