a new way

Things hurt now, in a new way, the likes of which I’ve never experienced. I go out night-walking with headphones, careful to avoid the train tracks, and sometimes I try to decipher what this pain is. I want to understand it, and to be able to explain it. The closest I can come is that […]

the hospital room

  I went so long without seeing him. Forever really. Long enough, I speculated, for us to become two entirely different people, and unrecognizable. But there he is, when I enter, sitting up in bed with his reading glasses on, hospital gown backwards, chest exposed, and looking just as erudite and handsome and savage as […]

oft lost

It’s Christmas in the year 2017 and I’m in two-bedroom suite in a tall hotel. Outside the the snow falls, which makes my son happy and therefore makes me happy. I sit with my morning coffee next to the window, beyond which a gondola runs the length of a mountain’s incline. I find the gondola’s […]

On Loving Melancholy

I am with Melancholy today. I haven’t spent much time with Melancholy lately, but that isn’t to say we’re strangers. We used to hang out a lot, in fact. Anyway, today we’re bedfellows. Today we’re tucked under a high pile of blankets with the shades drawn and a mess of clothes and books on the […]

partial

The entrepreneur was not surprised when we broke up. “I feel like you’ve been breaking up with me in slow motion for a long time,” was how he phrased it. “So I’ve mostly processed this.” This on an evening in his house, the first time I’d been sober in his presence in a lot of […]

a few years back

Tony initially takes our break-up wonderfully. “The way I see it,” he tells me, “you’re allergic to commitment. You’ve always lauded me as being a well-endowed man of swagger and wit. So clearly this has nothing to do with me.” I nod. This version of the story is as good as, if not better than, any […]

just a glimpse

“Last week you were bored with us. I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before.” She laughed out loud. It was cute. It was true that the general populace hung on his every word. And when she’d gone to watch him speak publicly even she’d gotten a stage crush on him. He actually was […]