the photographer’s proverb

“Are you going to be writing about this?” he asks. “Do you want a notepad?” He’s teasing, of course, but no, I  don’t need a notepad. “That’s not how it works,” I tell him. He raises an eyebrow, mock arrogant. This one loves to challenge me. At times, his behavior even borders on being rude, but […]

thanksgiving with the ex

For Thanksgiving, Django and I are going on a little trip to see his dad’s side of the family. Despite my trying to wriggle out of it, (“This might just make everyone uncomfortable. Maybe it’s time we grow out of this. We’re really fine on our own.”), it’s still going to happen. I’m more or […]

Merikano

Because he dances around the room like he fucking owns the world, that cigarette hanging from the corner of his lip. Because he’s not intimidated by me, wondering at him, on the couch. Because he eases alongside me, looks me up and down. Because he pulls my shirt out in front like what’s underneath is […]

it started with a kiss

It started with a kiss. Not a simple goodnight kiss, or a clumsy first kiss. It started with a street corner on which he stood, a parking spot into which I pulled, a car door through which he entered. It started with my body turning towards his, from my place behind the steering wheel. It […]

happy endings

Love is a funny thing. I never seem to get it right. But even so. Even when I screw up. And it’s over. And I’m left with my heartache. Left to muse over its rich complexities. There are still surprises. Like finding myself washed over by an insane calm. As if breathing is not the […]

maybe if we were older

I really wish I could do this. In the first month we shared a dream, even. But I’m fucking up already, and I can tell the road we’re on by the bumps. I’ve been over these bumps before. And I don’t like this road. I know where it goes and it’s not a good place […]