Django lives with me for 18 years and five months, in a myriad of settings, alongside a dubious host of characters, and then, one day, before getting in a truck and driving away, he sits me down in front of his piano. “I have a song for you,” he tells me. “It’s called The Farewell.” […]
It’s because she is young, epically speaking. Or at least not dead, anyway. Also because the phenomenal display of life feels really a performance, her performance. And she figures her performance may as well delight. Also because none of it seems to carry with it the quality of being quite real. She can’t track when or how […]
So we move to a large and isolated house, with marble floors that are cold on my bare feet, and life starts over again. If there is one aspect of my story of which I am certain, it is this: It can always start over. I don’t know how to talk about the life I’m […]
It’s been forever since I’ve written anything, and now I have this desire to sum up particular aspects of the last couple years of my life and get on with it. Though perhaps not without proving I learned some things first. I certainly can’t allow myself years that meant nothing. In that vein, my first […]
It’s Christmas in the year 2017 and I’m in two-bedroom suite in a tall hotel. Outside the the snow falls, which makes my son happy and therefore makes me happy. I sit with my morning coffee next to the window, beyond which a gondola runs the length of a mountain’s incline. I find the gondola’s […]
So my son and I, in keeping with things we do best, check ourselves into a hotel, and tonight, muscles all a-spasm from the scaling of a 14,265 foot peak at dawn, break into the spa and fold back the cover of the small, salt-water pool. “Um, are we supposed to be here?” my son […]
I’m so tired sometimes, like I’ve seen it all, lived it all, before. Twice. Maybe three times. And I’ve always been one to just drift with the current, I think, as it has never made much sense to put so terribly much effort into trying to build something, trying to control the result, while intimately […]
So Hyde rescued me. Life got confusing, too big, too difficult to navigate. My mind’s graffiti art became dizzying, no longer lovely in its overlap. I spent overheated days trying to differentiate the once-valuable tags from each other, then took a sledgehammer to the entire structure, demolition-style, before it had a chance to collapse on its own. And oddly, […]
Last night I notice that my 14-year-old son has posted a new profile picture on Facebook, where he claims to be a 20-year-old simply to gain access to what he terms an outmoded world. The photo is from the last day of summer, on which we summited a 14,000 foot peak, climbing up the backside and endangering our […]
This summer, I take Lovey and Django on a three-day car trip across four states. A sixteen-year-old boy, now an equal part of our eclectic family, also joins. Somehow, it’s in this spinning of wheels and endless road that I have historically seen my kids the most. They unwind for me. Show me who you are, I silently invite. My heart […]
my delusions 