Le Désespéré

so i’m at an art exhibit with yet another man and we agree to walk along separate walls, because i don’t want his thoughts interrupting mine, and he’s standing across the room from me when i turn and realize he has the exact same build as the photojournalist, even the back of his head looks like his, […]

hidden

He got mad at her last night and called her a liar and she felt it a little unfair, given the black lights with which she filled his bedroom for his homecoming. Given the masquerade mask and lingerie she donned, not to mention the knee socks with cute little bows, the stilettos. Although he took his […]

girlfriend trap

  It has been so long and she has come so far, though she suspects some of what she has done is regressed, or perhaps just circled round and forgotten the original landscape. There was the night he again asked her to be his girlfriend; she’d just performed her staccato’d body tremble trick for him, on his behalf, […]

at some point, your life will just stop

These days, I spend more and more time with the entrepreneur. Despite it not always going well between us, he has nonetheless granted generous asylum to certain aspects of me —aspects that are paramount to a heightened existence — and in so doing, forged a previously unknown trust. One year down and I now know that I […]

delayed

I’m not entirely sure what to call this one. The one that stays. That one that gets real with me, manages me, takes care of me. The one that creates a huge, safe playground for me to … well, fuck, for me to just to be me, really. I’ve had a lot of things, but I’ve […]

houseghost

“Are you still in my house?” he texts, as I stand, doting on my bruised tush in the mirror, the array of marks left by his hand reminiscent of an archipelago. He’s gone, for a while this time. But he keeps giving me keys to the various residences he keeps. “I don’t see how that’s any of […]

how we live

I’m so tired sometimes, like I’ve seen it all, lived it all, before. Twice. Maybe three times. And I’ve always been one to just drift with the current, I think, as it has never made much sense to put so terribly much effort into trying to build something, trying to control the result, while intimately […]

he happened before

the time is coming when i will go back into the photojournalist i feel it like that child of five scary thing behind me falling up dark cellar stairs the time is coming when i will crawl back into him or he will come back into me   hey, did i ever tell you how he was already a part […]

little ankles

Every day now, I take my sister to receive brain radiation. She gets locked into a mask and affixed to a table, a box is lowered over her head, and she squeezes her eyes closed while a searing light steals what’s left of her cognition. And in turn, perhaps, extends her life by a few months. […]

the street

So Hyde rescued me. Life got confusing, too big, too difficult to navigate. My mind’s graffiti art became dizzying, no longer lovely in its overlap. I spent overheated days trying to differentiate the once-valuable tags from each other, then took a sledgehammer to the entire structure, demolition-style, before it had a chance to collapse on its own. And oddly, […]