He likes me because of my thigh-high stockings. I know this because he told me. He’s charitable in his verbal appreciation of me. Though I can’t be certain, I suspect his loquacity probably helps dispel thoughts of his dead, manic-suicide, ex-wife. Filling up the space with sound. I’m curious as to why there are no pictures of […]
This week my son, Django, went off with his dad, The Piranha, to the islands. This was a big step, I guess. Because there have been years, off and on, that the two wanted very little to do with each other. And that’s in addition to those years when I shunned The Piranha altogether, finding […]
So the surgeon suggests, three consecutive times, that we go out. Like on a date, I guess. I have a fondness for the surgeon because, despite having my number, he only ever corresponds with me occasionally. This is a good quality in a man, if you’re me. So he’s got that going for him. But I […]
“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” -Oscar Wilde So I forgot to tell you about Manless January, which is a holiday I invented last year to save my own life. This year, Manless January acted more as a preventative. […]
Every ten years or so I get a Caleb in my life. They’re always younger but somehow more experienced than I am; they’re always sillier on the outside but sadder on the inside; they’re always some exciting blend of swagger and walking disaster; and they’re always completely unapologetic about who they are and what they’re […]
I can’t remember with any real clarity why I consented to a date with Kenny. There was something stupidly sexy about his wearing his Ray-Bans in the Four Seasons Hotel bar. And practically irresistible about the way he scowled when I, a stranger, liberally gave him shit about it. I’m big on giving shit to men […]
Andrew also works for one of my clients; my arrival occasionally overlaps with his departure. One Tuesday about a month ago, that client made the privileged choice not to show up at his own office. Andrew waited behind to tell me. “You didn’t have to do that,” I tell him. “I would have caught on.” […]
Sometimes, if you’re lucky, there is a knowing in the not knowing. Because I don’t know him, not by a long shot. But the overlap of sentiment is one that’s been beautifully woven. As if for years. Without my knowing. The familiar bodies of two strangers meeting. “Do I know you?” he asks, pulling away. […]
On Thursday I run into Jeff at the coffee shop. “Hello Delilah,” he mumbles unenthusiastically, from a stool behind the door. Which he didn’t have to do, because I would never have noticed him there. I take it as a reluctant sign that I am supposed to greet him back. Being polite, I do what […]
So right then, you decide not to call anymore. Why waste your time? She’s no one, dude. You’ve only been hanging out with her for old times’ sake. (What was that bullshit when she asked why everyone else from back then deserted you?) You slam the front door and hoist your weight off the ground […]
my delusions 