disarray

The last time I saw him he made me promise not to get emotional. Or, at least, I guess that’s what he made me promise. His phrasing was a bit more elusive than that. “Just fucking?” he texted, a few hours before. “Whatever you say, Bassi,” I texted back. See that? I used his last […]

it started with a kiss

It started with a kiss. Not a simple goodnight kiss, or a clumsy first kiss. It started with a street corner on which he stood, a parking spot into which I pulled, a car door through which he entered. It started with my body turning towards his, from my place behind the steering wheel. It […]

misfits

On Thursday I run into Jeff at the coffee shop. “Hello Delilah,” he mumbles unenthusiastically, from a stool behind the door. Which he didn’t have to do, because I would never have noticed him there. I take it as a reluctant sign that I am supposed to greet him back. Being polite, I do what […]

hyde and seek

So I am poolside with my best ex, laughing about that time he blackened my eye. Reflected in his sunglasses, my son floats casually by on an inner tube. I turn to appreciate it just in time to see a beautiful dive bomb executed by my ex’s son, which attempts to sink my son completely. […]

dark water

Lovey is twelve and living with her substitute family the day her period comes. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is. “Should we cancel the trip to the river?” Delilah, her substitute mother, asks. “Are you feeling blue?” Lovey is occasionally morose and Delilah has developed a regimen for it, in which she […]

thirteen and the ways to know me

because. because. because. because the momentum was there. and so was the alcohol. and so was the sense of complete despair and the conviction that nothing made a wrench of a difference, anyway. i don’t remember those days much anymore. but when we first started hanging out again, it all came stampeding back to me […]

don’t touch me

There are, I believe, two diametrically opposed elements that narrate our desire to keep coming back to each other. One is our not even remotely knowing each other. And the other is knowing each other so completely. He’s allowed one overnight visit every four to six weeks. Today he showed up after an absence of […]