oft lost

It’s Christmas in the year 2017 and I’m in two-bedroom suite in a tall hotel. Outside the the snow falls, which makes my son happy and therefore makes me happy. I sit with my morning coffee next to the window, beyond which a gondola runs the length of a mountain’s incline. I find the gondola’s […]

a few years back

Tony initially takes our break-up wonderfully. “The way I see it,” he tells me, “you’re allergic to commitment. You’ve always lauded me as being a well-endowed man of swagger and wit. So clearly this has nothing to do with me.” I nod. This version of the story is as good as, if not better than, any […]

on exoskeletons

Because I find a blue embroidery tulle wedding dress at the thrift store and can’t tell whether it is hideous or magnificent, and because it fits me so lovingly, and because, more than any of it, I suppose, I am just the right amount of me, I end up at a dinner party hosted by the […]

Le Désespéré

so i’m at an art exhibit with yet another man and we agree to walk along separate walls, because i don’t want his thoughts interrupting mine, and he’s standing across the room from me when i turn and realize he has the exact same build as the photojournalist, even the back of his head looks like his, […]

me and miranda

A few years ago my heart broke for the final time. Being a reckless, passionate, and melodramatic woman, it never occurred to me that a heart can only be broken x number of times before it’s just done being broken ever again. Had I known there were a quota, I like to think I would have […]

words getting out

She takes a deep breath. Because she’s going to have a “proper conversation” with him on Monday. His words. Mingling with hers. And the scheduling of this event sent a shiny cocktail fork careening into her beautiful adult female wiring. Which is just her way of saying she’s grossly unprepared. Thus the deep breath. Because breathing […]

all adventurous women do

She’s a little twerky today, had an off week. She knew she would, because Tuesday she was due for the procedure with the electric prong up her vagina. That’s right. Electricity. In her vagina. So, you know, it’s really no wonder she was feeling scrambley. But even so, when the man she’s been successfully dating for […]

misfits

On Thursday I run into Jeff at the coffee shop. “Hello Delilah,” he mumbles unenthusiastically, from a stool behind the door. Which he didn’t have to do, because I would never have noticed him there. I take it as a reluctant sign that I am supposed to greet him back. Being polite, I do what […]

you’re my only hope

My friend Chloe is a yogini. Aside from being lovely and flexible and hypnotizing me with her long, graceful arms when she wears those billowy-sleeve blouses, this also means she’s all spiritual and stuff. (They’re probably hemp. The blouses. I’m not trying to be catty, but they probably are.) Chloe is married to Ken, who is either […]

two pairs

So right then, you decide not to call anymore. Why waste your time? She’s no one, dude. You’ve only been hanging out with her for old times’ sake. (What was that bullshit when she asked why everyone else from back then deserted you?) You slam the front door and hoist your weight off the ground […]