how we live

I’m so tired sometimes, like I’ve seen it all, lived it all, before. Twice. Maybe three times. And I’ve always been one to just drift with the current, I think, as it has never made much sense to put so terribly much effort into trying to build something, trying to control the result, while intimately […]

he happened before

the time is coming when i will go back into the photojournalist i feel it like that child of five scary thing behind me falling up dark cellar stairs the time is coming when i will crawl back into him or he will come back into me   hey, did i ever tell you how he was already a part […]

levity

The dark days of winter come and go and she finds, miraculously, that she’s unbroken. Fragmented perhaps. Splintered definitely. But still so relatively intact that it makes her happy. Like waking from a bad dream and realizing her real life is still there, waiting to be led zigzag  on a leash, like a suckling, milky-eyed […]

words getting out

She takes a deep breath. Because she’s going to have a “proper conversation” with him on Monday. His words. Mingling with hers. And the scheduling of this event sent a shiny cocktail fork careening into her beautiful adult female wiring. Which is just her way of saying she’s grossly unprepared. Thus the deep breath. Because breathing […]

The Westons, part I

Around the age of 13 I was sent off to live with the Westons, the result of Mum deciding I was too much to handle. Which isn’t a slight to Mum. I actually was. Like, even for myself. I’d taken to hanging around with a strange group of friends. Strange in that they were kids, […]

struck

are we in this together or is the experience my own? she thought to ask, but didn’t aware that the answer would arrive   all by itself, as answers do when the mind goes quiet, and so far away   life is beautiful, he wanted her to know before he broke into her skull casting light on heretofore […]

absentee demons

I’m having another episode. I’m never sure what to do when this happens, and at first I tend to respond by thrashing wildly. Grasping at nearby surfaces as I plummet, only to watch them loosen and break too. Far better once I recognize the hopelessness of struggle, as at least I can leave off bringing […]