her favorite part—one of her favorite parts—is landing on his bedroom floor in a crouch, the window on the night still open behind her. developing this character might be her greatest achievement yet. she’s reached this weird stage in life where breaking into a man’s home is her new form of courtship. it’s difficult to say exactly how […]
the time is coming when i will go back into the photojournalist i feel it like that child of five scary thing behind me falling up dark cellar stairs the time is coming when i will crawl back into him or he will come back into me hey, did i ever tell you how he was already a part […]
The hacker likes me, I suspect, for all of the things he can’t have from me, for all of the things I don’t give him. He doesn’t like me because I make him feel complete; he likes me because I make him feel desperate. He likes me because he can’t take my pulse, track my […]
A few years ago my heart broke for the final time. Being a reckless, passionate, and melodramatic woman, it never occurred to me that a heart can only be broken x number of times before it’s just done being broken ever again. Had I known there were a quota, I like to think I would have […]
are we in this together or is the experience my own? she thought to ask, but didn’t aware that the answer would arrive all by itself, as answers do when the mind goes quiet, and so far away life is beautiful, he wanted her to know before he broke into her skull casting light on heretofore […]
“I own you,” he told her, at a time when he didn’t. And back then, she found the words bizarre, egotistical, naive. But more recently he’s become the conduit for her gaining a reality so lucid that she can’t help but submit to the truth in the statement. And she wonders how he knew before she did. Or if […]
Two years ago, at about this time of year, Paddy flew me down to meet his parents. I mostly ignored the implications, and when his father told me it was nice to meet his son’s girlfriend, I replied, “Oh, I wouldn’t say I’m his girlfriend, exactly.” And Paddy fervently backed me up on that one. Still, […]
He says some of the most ridiculous things I’ve never heard. Like when I show up in the low, black corset, a willful adaptation of the woman my mother wanted me to be. And I get, “Oh my god. Who is the retarded nanny that dresses you?” Maybe I’m supposed to be offended. But it’s far too funny […]
Regardless of whether or not he’s aware of it, I know already that the photojournalist and I are involved in a dynamic that is larger than either of us, the purpose of which I have yet to fully comprehend. Outwardly, we seem caught in a competition to see which of us can be more. The […]
You know, sometimes happiness is just so damn elusive. Sometimes life is just hard and the people you want to believe in betray you. Sometimes they go crazy, disown you, fucking die. Sometimes your heart breaks. (A lot of the time your heart breaks.) Sometimes you go on medication. Numb that shit out. Sometimes, days […]
my delusions 