a few years back

Tony initially takes our break-up wonderfully. “The way I see it,” he tells me, “you’re allergic to commitment. You’ve always lauded me as being a well-endowed man of swagger and wit. So clearly this has nothing to do with me.” I nod. This version of the story is as good as, if not better than, any […]

on love and death

You get the news about your sister in that time of night that is so late it’s actually morning. You have just finished having sex, have just finished brushing your teeth, have just finished donning the pajamas assigned to you. You’re some weird combination of empty and full, and right as you climb into bed […]

the throwbar

Oh how she grows and changes at every turn, how her limbs and spine lengthen or shrink depending on her conditions, and how we love, or try to love, her inability to rest, that great instigator of drama, and trauma, and pain and tears, which then rise from her in great lunatic waves of laughter and […]

on exoskeletons

Because I find a blue embroidery tulle wedding dress at the thrift store and can’t tell whether it is hideous or magnificent, and because it fits me so lovingly, and because, more than any of it, I suppose, I am just the right amount of me, I end up at a dinner party hosted by the […]

he & i

Last night I notice that my 14-year-old son has posted a new profile picture on Facebook, where he claims to be a 20-year-old simply to gain access to what he terms an outmoded world. The photo is from the last day of summer, on which we summited a 14,000 foot peak, climbing up the backside and endangering our […]

yellow ribbons

There are moments when I have the sense he’s messing with all of the neat little packages lining my shelves. Things I’ve wrapped up carefully, put away, to be looked at much, much later. One at a time with large spaces of time in between. If at all. “Where were you living and what were […]

u gotta thing for calebs

Every ten years or so I get a Caleb in my life. They’re always younger but somehow more experienced than I am; they’re always sillier on the outside but sadder on the inside; they’re always some exciting blend of swagger and walking disaster; and they’re always completely unapologetic about who they are and what they’re […]