“I’ll never spend the night,” she told you from the beginning. “I’d avoid making commitments to never, if I were you.” That was two or three months ago. Now she sits on the edge of your bed, putting on her stockings, talking nonstop about matters of zero consequence. An attempt to smooth over the fact that […]


When your father is a professional gambler, you learn from a young age to disassociate from people and regard them as nothing more than the sum of their tells. This can be a very lonely world for you, especially as a child. But it’s no harder than you allow it to be. As far as […]


I have a confession to make. Remember how last night you called, and I told you I was sick, and you offered to bring Indian food? Remember how I said no? Well, I wasn’t really that sick. And I ordered the Indian food anyway. And 30 minutes later when I went to pick it up, […]

tin can sex years

I am seventeen and am informally adopted by a German geologist. He relocates “the family” to Perth, Western Australia. I fall madly in love with a younger but older boy who is a high school dropout and does nothing all day but smoke pot and practice handstands. His name, perfectly, is Caleb. Caleb does not […]


Every now and then, out of the clear blue, I lose belief in my ability to maintain my composure. Like today, I am in Whole Foods. Totally normal. It is my neighborhood store and I am easily there once a day. What’s the problem, right? I’ve got this one. No. Because today, for absolutely no […]

off-ramp, five

On my way back from the carnival lot on its last night, I stop by the baseball diamond to say goodbye to Billy. He’s up to bat and I watch him strike out. He ignores me when I stand behind him, the metal fence between us. I see his good Christian parents up in the […]

more than life

I am not feeling funny today, which is not like me. It is probably kind of like Jemaine Clements not feeling sexy. I have no reason to be in a foul mood. Nothing particular even happened. It just seems that for every long stretch of senseless glee, I then somehow owe back. I don’t remember conceding […]