I don’t plan to cry when he leaves—that’s not the girl I am at all—but it sneaks up on me when I put my head down in the crook of his neck. His shirt is so soft and it strikes me hard and fast that no one is going to be here to tuck me […]
So my son and I, in keeping with things we do best, check ourselves into a hotel, and tonight, muscles all a-spasm from the scaling of a 14,265 foot peak at dawn, break into the spa and fold back the cover of the small, salt-water pool. “Um, are we supposed to be here?” my son […]
So Hyde rescued me. Life got confusing, too big, too difficult to navigate. My mind’s graffiti art became dizzying, no longer lovely in its overlap. I spent overheated days trying to differentiate the once-valuable tags from each other, then took a sledgehammer to the entire structure, demolition-style, before it had a chance to collapse on its own. And oddly, […]
“I want you to be fast asleep when I get there.” This is the text he sends, in response to my letting him know I’m in the city. It’s a little game we play. Although, honestly, I’d forgotten. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, and there is no guarantee that the unknowing […]
She’s a little twerky today, had an off week. She knew she would, because Tuesday she was due for the procedure with the electric prong up her vagina. That’s right. Electricity. In her vagina. So, you know, it’s really no wonder she was feeling scrambley. But even so, when the man she’s been successfully dating for […]
I’m pretty good at casting things that have to do with me, my life, my character, in a flattering light. At positioning myself in a story in such a way that in the end I come out looking shiny, or at the very least salvageable. And while I know there is a certain vanity in […]
I don’t even work for the client anymore, and I almost feel like punching myself in the face that I have another post about him, but I do. I promised myself I wouldn’t go up there anymore. He asked me to marry him. Did I tell you that? I know I didn’t, because at the […]
There are moments when I have the sense he’s messing with all of the neat little packages lining my shelves. Things I’ve wrapped up carefully, put away, to be looked at much, much later. One at a time with large spaces of time in between. If at all. “Where were you living and what were […]
Regardless of whether or not he’s aware of it, I know already that the photojournalist and I are involved in a dynamic that is larger than either of us, the purpose of which I have yet to fully comprehend. Outwardly, we seem caught in a competition to see which of us can be more. The […]
You know that thing where you feel like you can’t breathe properly and you wake up in the middle of every night in a crippling state of inexplicable terror and your now raw and tender body becomes allergic to itself? Yeah. Well, so, that’s been happening. Not cool. Back against the wall, this time I’m […]
my delusions 