“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” -Oscar Wilde So I forgot to tell you about Manless January, which is a holiday I invented last year to save my own life. This year, Manless January acted more as a preventative. […]
She’s a little twerky today, had an off week. She knew she would, because Tuesday she was due for the procedure with the electric prong up her vagina. That’s right. Electricity. In her vagina. So, you know, it’s really no wonder she was feeling scrambley. But even so, when the man she’s been successfully dating for […]
“How did I do?” he texts. He’s big on feedback. Likely because he knows he’s good. “You fuck like a bull,” she teases him. “LOL. Yeah, I have a lot of different ways of fucking,” he responds, and she doesn’t think much about it. Until the next time, when he shows her some of the […]
Caleb and you spend long afternoons in your bedroom waiting for spring. He sleeps with his strong arm thrown over you and you yourself never sleep but steady your breathing enough to convince him that you do. Without knowing why, you like this foolery, this deception. It makes you happy. You try to keep this […]
You know, sometimes happiness is just so damn elusive. Sometimes life is just hard and the people you want to believe in betray you. Sometimes they go crazy, disown you, fucking die. Sometimes your heart breaks. (A lot of the time your heart breaks.) Sometimes you go on medication. Numb that shit out. Sometimes, days […]
Sometimes (all the time) I get scared that men will want something from me. Something heavier, more hidden, than my attention, my time. Something that will require I give an explanation. Even when I have nothing to say. Sometimes (all the time), I believe this. You either get me or you don’t. “But all I […]
I can’t remember with any real clarity why I consented to a date with Kenny. There was something stupidly sexy about his wearing his Ray-Bans in the Four Seasons Hotel bar. And practically irresistible about the way he scowled when I, a stranger, liberally gave him shit about it. I’m big on giving shit to men […]
At some point, a while back, I sought the services of a handsome head doctor to cure my batshit-crazy mind. (Okay, fine, I have sought the services of twelve to fifteen head doctors. Leave me alone. It’s not relevant to this story.) The handsome head doctor probed deeply, listened carefully, and ultimately diagnosed me as […]
my delusions 