The first day of 8th grade, Debbie and I make bets on who will lose her virginity. By choice, I mean, as opposed to the way we’ve had it. That weekend, I pass out at a party and when I come to I’m in the bathroom being fun-dipped by this older guy while my boyfriend pounds on […]
are we in this together or is the experience my own? she thought to ask, but didn’t aware that the answer would arrive all by itself, as answers do when the mind goes quiet, and so far away life is beautiful, he wanted her to know before he broke into her skull casting light on heretofore […]
“I own you,” he told her, at a time when he didn’t. And back then, she found the words bizarre, egotistical, naive. But more recently he’s become the conduit for her gaining a reality so lucid that she can’t help but submit to the truth in the statement. And she wonders how he knew before she did. Or if […]
He says she’s guarded, that she’s got armor. But that doesn’t sound like her. Her words are more like . . . Poise. And subterfuge. She’s perched in his windowsill, writing. The house is old. It’s early morning and there is spring snow falling, uncertain in its descent. She left the house early for coffee. “Lie […]
Two years ago, at about this time of year, Paddy flew me down to meet his parents. I mostly ignored the implications, and when his father told me it was nice to meet his son’s girlfriend, I replied, “Oh, I wouldn’t say I’m his girlfriend, exactly.” And Paddy fervently backed me up on that one. Still, […]
my delusions 